Two beds and a coffee machine
by jmmy
Summary: Lyrics from savage garden. Sam's on the run from Pete. This has swearing and domestic violence, so please don't read it if it will offend. Reviews are good, postive and negative, but please be polite. No flames, please. Up to Affinity, but Janet is alive.
1. In which Sam runs

and she takes another step  
slowly she opens the door  
check that he is sleeping  
pick up all the broken glass  
and furniture on the floor  
been up half the night screaming  
now it's time to get away  
pack up the kids in the car  
another bruise to try and hide  
another alibi to write

another ditch in the road  
you keep moving  
another stop sign  
you keep moving on  
and the years go by so fast  
wonder how I ever made it through

and there are children to think of  
baby's asleep in the back seat  
wonder how they'll ever make it  
through this living nightmare  
but the mind is an amazing thing  
full of candy dreams and new toys  
and another cheap hotel  
two beds and a coffee machine  
but there are groceries to buy  
and she knows she'll have to go home

another ditch in the road  
you keep moving  
another stop sign  
you keep moving on  
and the years go by so fast  
wonder how I ever made it through

another bruise to try and hide  
another alibi to write  
another lonely highway in the black of night  
there's hope in the darkness  
I know you're gonna make it

another ditch in the road  
keep moving  
another stop sign  
you keep moving on  
and the years go by so fast  
silent fortress built to last  
wonder how I ever made it

She leaned against the door and sighed. This was how many times in how many years she'd tried, and it was the same fucking shit all over again. How many more goddamned two-bit motels was she going to find herself in before she realised? She'd never get away from him. Her, and the twins. This was the first time she'd tried it with them. Well, she tried once when she was pregnant, and she nearly lost them after the beating her gave her when he found her. She hadn't tried it for nearly three years since then, but when Grace had asked her why mommy was so sad, and why daddy got so angry all the time, she knew she couldn't let him hurt her babies. So, she packed up her stuff, in a well-rehearsed routine, the only changes being the kid's stuff. And she drove to another randomly chosen cheap motel, where she hoped she would be able to stay the night before driving off in another direction to another hotel, always running, trying to stay one step ahead of him.

It was so fucking ironic. After years of trying to find the "safe" husband, the easy way out, she had to marry another Jonas. But then again, Jonas had seemed safe too. And after swearing that she'd never become one of those women that were trapped in abusive relationships, she realised finally why they never left. Why Pete and Jonas had both managed to worm their way in. They had broken her down, made her feel like it would be ten times worse without them. And so, every single time she promised herself that if it happened again she'd leave. And every time she managed it, he found her.

It wouldn't happen this time though. This time, she wouldn't go back. Not with her babies at stake. The twins, and the one in her womb. The one that would make Pete realise the truth. She'd been lucky with the twins. As girls, they looked like her – blonde, blue eyed. She was the only one who knew the truth. But with this one, she knew her luck wouldn't hold. It was a boy. And she would bet any money that he would look just like his daddy.


	2. In which Sam muses

Brigadier General Jonathon 'Jack' O'Neill. The one person that Samantha Carter trusted, not only with her life, but also with her heart. The only person in the world that she wanted to go to with her problems, but the one person that she couldn't. Not when he was the whole reason for the problems in the first place. Pete had never liked her teammates, but he hated Jack the most, for what he represented, and later what he was. The father of her children, and the only person she would ever love.

Pete never really knew anything, but Sam knew he had never really bonded with Grace and Jenny. However, when her son was born, the one that was sure to have his daddy's brown hair, and mischievous eyes, she knew that Pete would never accept that it was his child. She didn't know why she'd done it. Grace and Jenny had been conceived about 3 months after she and Pete married, on one drunken evening when Janet had thrown her retirement party. Jack had come up to her, after Pete had left, and told her how stupid he thought she was being, with the aid of a bottle and a half of scotch in his system. She had agreed with him, honesty brought on by too many beers, but told him she couldn't give up on Pete. Not after he was the only guy in her life that had survived the "black widow Carter" curse, and had stuck around when he found out what she did. Jack had looked at her, really looked, with those deep brown eyes that seemed to pull at her, and said, "What about me?" She didn't remember how they had ended up in Janet's guestroom, how their clothes had been removed, but she remembered his body like it was an hour ago, discovering every scar, every inch like it was a piece of alien technology that she was studying in detail.

When she missed her next period, she knew immediately that the baby would be Jack's. Not only did Pete wear condoms, she knew deep in her heart that she would only ever want to have Jack's children. This felt so inherently right, that it couldn't be Pete's. She prayed that Pete wouldn't realise, that he'd buy her excuse that they must have used a faulty condom, and when her girls had been born, she'd let out a breath that she'd been holding for months when they looked like her.

But this little boy inside her hadn't been conceived in some drunken night of passion. Well, she'd been sober. Jack had been so drunk when she got to his, that he thought it was a dream. She'd gone to him to drop off a Simpson's DVD that she found when clearing out some old junk. And he'd been hammered, and when he reached for her and asked her to stay, and said that it was "my dream and I'll be damned if I let you get away with leaving in dreams as well as in real life", she turned around and melted into his arms without a second thought. It was only when her period was late again that she realised that she was pregnant. And when the doctors had told her it was a boy, she knew she had to run, because if Pete hit her, she accepted it, but she'd never let him hurt one of her children.


	3. In which Pete appears

For reference, the retirement party mentioned in ch 2 was for Sam, not Janet. Janet is still alive - i'm going canon up til Affinity, however Hero's 1 and 2 did not happen and Janet is alive and well and still at the SGC.

She woke up an hour before her alarm went off, a habit ingrained in her after years of being in the Air Force. It had come in handy when they were on alien planets and it was her turn to be on watch. Jack teased her mercilessly about how hard it was get Daniel up, but that she would be out of her sleeping bag as soon as someone did so much as whistle. She listened for a minute to the sound of her babies sleeping, and then got up and packed up their belongings, ready to run again. Only, before she could wake them, she heard a loud bang on the door. Her knees buckling as she realised that he had found her; she stumbled away from the figure in the doorway that came at her.

"You think you can run from me again? You think that you can get away from me? You're nothing but a two-bit fucking WHORE!" He screamed as he came at her.

"Pete, no, please, no…" she whimpered as he advanced, fist raised. He hit her, one solid backhand across her cheek, and she fell against the small night table with a sickening crack coming from her wrist.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Samantha? Why do you run from me? You're mine, you know I'm gonna find you."

"Please Pete, the girls are sleeping…" she pleaded, trying to calm him down.

"You think I care about that?" he yelled, kicking her in her side. "Time they learned about their bitch of a mother isn't it?!"

"Pete…no…"

Luckily, when Pete had stormed in he hadn't closed the door, and from the doorway Sam heard the most wonderful sound she had ever heard, the unmistakeable sound of a shotgun being cocked.

"Listen mister, I don't know who you are but I won't have this going on in my motel. Now, you're going to come with me and leave the lady alone…"

"She's no fucking lady" Pete snarled, but knew that he was beaten. As he walked away, throwing an "I WILL get you" over his shoulder to Sam, she shook with the force of the tears that ran through her. Once she could breathe properly, she picked up the bags with their stuff in it, woke the girls and drove as fast as she could away from where Pete was being hauled into a police car. She knew she would be needed to stay and have her statement taken, but she had to get out of there. So, she drove to the only friend she could go to, even though they hadn't spoken in two years. Doctor Janet Frasier.


	4. In which reunions occur

Needless to say, Janet had been more than a little shocked when Sam turned up at her door with her twins in tow. She was even more shocked when she hugged her and felt the small bump on Sam's belly, indicating the baby inside. But nothing compared to the shock she felt after Sam had sat with her on the couch in her living room and poured out the whole story. She had known that Sam and Pete had their problems, but never thought that Sam would have stayed in an abusive relationship. And as for the kids…

"You mean, they're ALL General O'Neill's? Even the little one? Oh, Sam…"

"I know, Jan, I know. Once was stupid enough, but twice? I dunno, there was just something about him. He looked…broken, I guess. Like a part of him was missing. So, when he asked me to stay, I just couldn't turn around and walk out of his life without a second glance."

"Sam, does he know?"

Sam looked at her toes, curled up underneath her, in the same way that she used to sit with Janet years ago, before Pete had come along and ruined her life.

"No, Jan. I can't tell him. It would ruin his career, he'd have three kids that he never wanted to deal with, and especially after Charlie, I couldn't do that to him. And I don't think I could handle his reaction."

"Oh, Sammy. You have to tell him. Aside from the fact that they're his kids, and he has a right to know, you know he'd never react like that. You've seen how he is with kids, Cassie… He'd probably be rejoicing. Sam, are you sure you're not just scared of how Pete would react?"

"No…maybe. I don't know Jan. All I know is I've kept it from him for over two years, three if you count the time I was pregnant. And now I'm pregnant again. I think I'm afraid he'll hate me. Or that he'll feel obligated to me or something. I don't know."

Just then, the doorbell rang. "Oh! I forgot! Daniel's here. We're going out for dinner… I'll cancel, tell him something came up."

"No, Jan, go ahead. Wait, since when are you and Daniel seeing each other for dinner? Outside of the base?" Sam grinned as a faint blush came over the small doctor's face.

"Well, at your retirement party actually. I was intending to tell you, but you were, as I now realise, otherwise engaged. Then, you left, moved, and we lost touch. I guess I never got around to telling you." Sam sighed wistfully, regretting the lost years. "Go! Have fun! And tell Daniel…tell him I missed him and I'm looking forward to seeing him soon. We all have a lot of catching up to do."

* * *

"Sam's in town? When? Why? What? Hold on… Just tell me everything."

"Daniel, breathe. She finally left him. She's back, and I think it might be for good." Janet proceeded to tell Daniel everything – they had long passed the stage where secrets were impossible to keep, and she knew Sam would forgive her. And, if some of the information just happened to reach a certain General in the aftermath, well, Janet could hardly be held responsible, could she? Stopping only for Daniel's repeated "what's" Janet told him all the details – the babies, the beatings, and ended with "And, if that lousy piece of scum doesn't get arrested, then I'll take him down myself for what he did to her. Men like that…" She didn't finish the thought, but it was okay. Daniel knew how her ex-husband had treated her, and knew that if Jack felt the way about Pete that Daniel did about Janet's ex, then Pete would soon find himself in a world of hurt. "I just hope she's okay. I mean, she seemed so different. Harder, colder. Like she was afraid to let me in. But at the same time, she was so vulnerable. I've never seen Sam like that. She was always so sure of herself, now it's like she's not even comfortable in her own skin. And those babies…"

"Shh, Jan, it's okay" Daniel consoled Janet, worried too about his friend, and knowing that pretty soon, he was gonna have to deal with a very irate Jack O'Neill…


	5. In which Daniel and Jack have a chat

To all the people who have reviewed so far - (I'm sorry it took me so long to reply! I've been writing like crazy, and I thought you would probably prefer it if I updated the fic before replying!)

angelcat70: thanks! I intended this to catch people's attention. Domestic violence is a really serious issue (my mum manages a couples counselling and mediation service, and I work there twice a week as their receptionist, so its an issue fairly close to home). I'm glad i caught your attention, and thankyou for the review

sexyirishBeep: Thanks! I'll update as quickly as I can - for quicker updates you might want to check out my website (its on my profile page) - I put the new chapters up there first. She didn't go to Jack because she was scared he wouldnt want her or that he'd feel obligated to her. And as for him walking away, well, we all know Jack O'Neill - he never walks away from a challenge!

Dana-Carter: Thanks for reviewing! I guess your question has been answered now, Jack is the father of ALL of Sam's children. lol!

Trunksblue: She didn't go to Jack because she was scared he wouldnt want her or that he'd feel obligated to her, and she didn't want to 'burden' him. Thanks for reviewing!

angie b: Well, the games have begun! You're right, without giving too much away, there are going to be some pretty fun (and some not so fun) things happening before the mess is resolved!

Veve: Thank you! I have some great plans for this fic, so I'm not stopping any time soon!

k80cue: I agree. I've always been a Jack/Sam shipper- you should have seen my face when she said 'yes' to Pete's proposal! Besides, they couldn't even have given her someone remotely interesting, if she couldn't have had Jack?!

Gactttaca: Timeline wise, it runs canon up till affinity, and maybe a couple of eps after, altho im assuming Jan is alive and Heros 1 and 2 didnt happen like that. After Pete proposed, they got married about 4 months (give or take) later, and moved in together in Denver or somewhere (not important, just that they moved away and she eventually lost touch with everyone), and then her retirement party happened 3 months after the wedding (Pete insisted she retired, she agreed coz she thought she'd never get anyone better, you know, the 'black widowcarter' thing.) Then she slept with Jack at the party, and 9 months later the twins were born. She had run from Pete a couple of times before and after the wedding but never said anything to anyone, and ran once when she was 6 months pregnant. A bit more than a year and a half after the twins were born, she was clearing out some old junk and found a Simpson's dvd of his. She decided to give it to him in person, and her son was conceived. This begins about three months after that - lets just say she's just showing (i'm not good with my pregnancy details, so if she'd be big by then please someone correct me) and that Pete just thought she gained weight and she ranthen because if she stayed any longer he'd realise she was pregnant. I think that's about right - if I've got anything wrong, please tell me! The song is an old favourite of mine, and it inspired this fic! Thanks for the review! (Oh, andshe didn't go to Jack because she was scared he wouldnt want her or that he'd feel obligated to her, and she didn't want to 'burden' him.)

Just me and myself: Thanks for the review! I'll update as soon as possible but for faster updates you might want to check out my website (the adress is on my profile page), as i tend to post there first!

Now that I've replied to everyone, here's the next installment! For reference, I'm not that happy with the way this chapter turned out, but Jack had to find out soon! And this plot bunny has been hopping around in my head, so i had to put it on paper. I may eventually change this chapter a bit, but i'm not sure :S

* * *

"So, in a nutshell, Sam's back, she's left Pete, who is currently sitting in a county jail cell somewhere until someone posts bail for him, and she's staying with Janet." Daniel neglected to mention Sam's children to Jack – it would open up a big can of worms and he thought Sam would probably want to tell him herself. "She's really broken, Jack. I think maybe you need to go see her." 

"Danny, think about it. She's been back for what, a week and a half now? If she wanted to see me, she would have called. And with everything that happened to her with Pete, I think the last thing she wants is some old friend strolling into her life without a care in the world. Especially an old friend who…well, you know." After Sam left, it had taken a long time for Jack to come out of the shell he had retreated into, but a year after her retirement party, a drunken Jack had turned up on Daniel's doorstep, interrupting a nice dinner with Janet, and had confessed to everything – sleeping with Sam, the Zatarc events that had been 'left in the room' for so damn long, how much he loved her, everything. It had been a long night, with Teal'c called over when Daniel realised what was going on, and the three remaining SG-1 members and their petite spitfire of a doctor had gotten very, very drunk. But it had been therapeutic for all of them, and when Jack turned up at the base for work the next day, sporting a killer hangover, he was finally back to being the Jack O'Neill everyone knew and... well, loved, as annoying as he was.

"Damn it Jack. She needs you! She's just spent the past three years in an abusive relationship – she's gonna need a familiar male presence around, someone she's comfortable with. And Jacob's not exactly likely to turn up anytime soon, he's off on some damn mission, and Teal'c and I are off-world as often as not. Its gotta be you."

"Danny, even if I should be there, I don't know if I can. To just have her suddenly back in my life, after last time… I don't think I can deal with it if she leaves me again. I mean, before, I could always use the damn regs as an excuse you know? But she's retired, Pete's gone… I don't know if I can deal with that situation. Especially if she decides to leave again…"

Daniel sighed – he hadn't wanted to do this, but he had no choice. "Jack, I wasn't going to tell you this, but… She's pregnant Jack, and she has kids. Twin girls."

"Daniel, I understand that you're trying to change my mind, but just because she's having kids with that damn idiot will not make me more inclined to go see her."

"Jack, you're not listening. They're yours."

"Daniel, I still…What?! But… why didn't she tell me? When? How? I don't mean how. What?!"

"The kids are yours Jack. Sam told Janet. She never told you because she didn't want to ruin your life, and she didn't want you to feel like you had to be there just because of the kids. She loves you Jack, she just couldn't tell you. She left Pete because she was afraid he'd hurt the kids. And I think its also because she realised that she's still in love with you."

"Still in love…Daniel, what do I do? I don't know if I can do this. I mean, after everything she's been through I can't exactly turn up at her door professing my undying love for her and expecting her to just throw herself into my arms. I mean, I know you think she's still in love with me, but does SHE know that? I don't know."

"Look at it this way, Jack; she needs a friend, right? So go over there, offer a sympathetic ear, and be a friend. You can at least do that for her, right?"

"Yeah, Danny, you're right. I'm being selfish; she needs a friend right now. I'll go see her tomorrow."

"Um, well that's the other thing. She doesn't think you know she's back."

"Ah, Danny, you gotta be kidding me? I guess I'll go 'visit' you and Janet then. Can you guys be at Janet's tomorrow? And maybe we can get Teal'c to stop by. That way it'll be like a good old-fashioned team day." And that way I can sneak out if I think its all going to hell, thought Jack.

"Yeah, sure, I'll arrange it with Janet. See ya later Jack."

"Yeah, sure, you betcha."


	6. In which they all watch Nemo

For everyone who reviewed, thanks! Please review, I love them. And I'll do my best to reply: D Here's the next chapter. I'm sorry I took so long to update – I had a couple of fics I really needed to get down on paper (or computer, lol) before I lost the ideas, and I was kinda suffering from writer's block on the ones in progress! Now that they're done, I will continue with the WIP's!

Review responses…

Just me and myself – Hope you like the newest update!

sjshipshipper – thanks! Hope you like this one!

sam+jack – more here! Hope you like it!

Gater101 – I will: D

rach0486 – Well, you got around to reading it eventually! So I can't complain! I'm glad you liked it, and I don't think I will change it.: D Here's the next chapter, and there's another on its way!

Jo – Well, here's more! I'm glad you liked it!

* * *

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Jesus, Jack, do you ever take your finger off the doorbell long enough to let someone answer it?" Janet yelled as she opened her door to the three men. Well, two men and an alien. 

"But if I did that, I wouldn't annoy you nearly half as much Jan!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam just went out to get some groceries, I told her you guys were coming. I didn't want to shock her – she's been through enough. Which means I've been left with the munchkins."

Jack was secretly glad Sam wasn't there. He wanted to meet his children, and he didn't want to let on that he knew they were his. That would have been difficult with Sam in close vicinity. Now, he could meet them and get accustomed to them before she got back. Although, to be honest, he was majorly nervous – these were his kids, fer cryin' out loud. And since Charlie… well, since Charlie, he had never expected to be blessed like that again. Now he had two, and a third on the way…

"Jack? May I present to you Grace and Jennifer Carter?" Janet came into the living room carrying two of the most beautiful blonde girls Jack had ever seen. They looked just like their mother. But their eyes… "They have his eyes."

"Whose?"

"Charlie's…they have Charlie's eyes. He had blue eyes. They're recessive in my family – my mom had blue eyes."

"Oh, Jack."

"They're beautiful. Hey, girls. I'm your Uncle Jack. And this is your Uncle Daniel, and your Uncle Teal'c." Jack hoped eventually, that he wouldn't be Uncle Jack, that he'd be Daddy. But he didn't know how Sam would feel about that, especially if the kids thought Shanahan was their Dad. Shanahan. God, the thought of his children calling that monster "Daddy" was almost too much for Jack to bear. He already wanted to kill him for hurting his Sam. If that man had laid as much as a finger on his children…

"Jan? I'm back!" The door slammed shut behind Sam as she walked in to Janet's house, carrying a large bag of groceries and two six-packs. "I bought beer!"

"Surely Colonel Carter, you should not be consuming alcoholic beverages if you are with child?" Teal'c's question resounded through the room, notifying Sam to their presence.

"Teal'c! Daniel! You came! And…Sir! You're all here!" Sam went rushing around the corner into the living room, skidding to an abrupt stop as she tried to control her enthusiasm at seeing her team-mates again. Jack had noticed her pause before she addressed him, and damn near winced as she called him 'sir'. But he managed to hide it, and instead distracted himself by pulling faces at the girl he held in his arms. Grace was ever the playful child, and was squirming around in his grasp, pulling faces and giggling at Jack. Jenny was more sedate, and was quite comfortable sitting in Teal'c's lap. Sam nearly burst out laughing at the sight of the huge Jaffa warrior sitting with a tiny little girl in his arms, cradling her. "I see you guys met. Gracie, Jenny, these are your uncle's Teal's, Jack and Daniel." Sam risked a sly glance at Jack, but he didn't appear to react to being referred to as Uncle. Good, he didn't know. "And Teal'c, I'm not intending to drink. The beer is for all of you guys. Trust me; with my best friend a doctor, I'm barely able to eat sweets now that I'm pregnant!"

"That is wise, Samantha Carter."

"So, what are we doing?" Janet asked as she came in from the kitchen, where she had prepared the food Sam had bought – popcorn, chips and dip, and a couple of bowls of various different candies for Jack, Sam and the kids. "DVD's?"

"I brought Finding Nemo – thought the kids might enjoy it." Jack piped up, not taking his adoring gaze away from the twins – Jenny having crawled into his lap to play with her sister. Sam's heart clenched at the sight of her children sitting in their daddy's lap. They looked so…right. She resolved that when all this was over and Pete was safely out of the picture she would tell Jack about the girls. It would most likely come out anyway, especially when her son was born.

"Finding Nemo, sir? I didn't know you had a penchant for children's films – I thought Daniel was the Disney obsessive."

"I'll have you know Finding Nemo had amazing reviews, and many adults enjoyed it. And fer cryin' out loud Carter, stop calling me sir. You retired nearly three years ago; I don't think you'll be court-martialled if you call me Jack."

Sam thought about this for a second. "Fine, sir... Jack. But, ONLY if you stop calling me Carter. Call me Sam."

"Fine…Sam. Anyway, Finding Nemo okay with everyone?" They all scrambled to find seats. Janet and Daniel curled up on the loveseat, and Teal'c took the armchair. This left Sam and Jack with the couch. After a slight pause, Jack picked up the girls and sat down with them on his lap. He then grabbed Sam's wrist, and pulled her down next to him. "This way, they can be near mommy but Uncle Jack has someone that will appreciate the film with him." Jack cracked, tickling the girls as they climbed all over him. Sam laughed, and sat down willingly.

After a minor hiccup at the beginning of Finding Nemo, where the girls started crying after Nemo's mom was eaten (Sam sat the girls down with her after that, although Grace crawled into Jack's lap halfway through the film), the film seemed to fly by. When it finished, Daniel and Janet went into the kitchen to "make coffee", and Teal'c left, claiming he had to return to the mountain as he was expecting a transmission from Ryac, whose new wife Kar'yn was due to give birth to their first child and day now. This left Sam and Jack alone in the living room with the girls. At first, they were occupied with Grace, who kept pulling Jack's hair, causing Sam to laugh and Jack to mutter incoherently under his breath at her. She wasn't sure what he was saying, but she could hazard a guess. But, when the girls calmed down, and curled up on top of Sam for a nap, Jack felt he needed to speak up.

"Sam? I think you and I need to talk."


	7. In which Sam and Jack finally talk

A/N: I'm SO sorry this took so long to post. Anyone who didn't see the note I posted, basically life has been so amazingly hectic I haven't been able to sit and write anything at all until this week. Again, sorry sorry sorry! I did try for some angst in this chap, but I couldn't do it to them, so I'm sorry if it's a little too fluffy - I hope I got the balance right! And there will be some angst soon, so I suggest that the next time I post you have a box of tissues ready! I will be posting at least every other week from now on, although I'm aiming for once a week...

Disclaimer: Don't own them, yadda yadda yadda. I own the kids though.

For everyone who reviewed, thankyou! For the record, the girls are a little over 2. (I think...)

Trunksblue - I know, Disney is evil! And they like their one-parent families - Snow White, Cinderella, Nemo, Bambi, Ariel... the list is endless. Did you know Mufasa in the Lion King is the only Disney character that's ever died on screen though? I'm glad you liked the way Jack was with the girls, grins.

sexyirishBeep - I'm sorry I took so long! You are very woveable indeed if you're still reading after I made you wait so long for an update, lol!

rach0468 - I'm really glad you like the story! I hope this chapter satisfies you! G

Jo - I'm glad you like it! I'm sorry the update took so long!

stargate-fan - I'm glad you like it, and you've found it now! G

kiwi4624 - I'm really glad you like the story! I'm sorry I took so long to update, but I hope this chapter is worth the wait!

live2rite - well, you wont get your answer about Pete just yet, but you can probably guess! I'm sorry it took so long!

nacotic - I'm glad you liked it so much! I hope I made you cry in a good way! And aw, shucks! I'm sorry I made you all excited and cry. This is what you were waiting for, I hope...

prinnie - I hope you didn't die of anticipation before I could post this! The twins are a little over 2, as I said above...

tpe78 - You're right about life being a pain in the butt! It still is, only it's manageable now. I'm glad you liked it, and the updates will be more regular from now on.

Natters - I'm glad you like it so much, thank you for all your reviews! G

Luatiki - I hope this doesn't disappoint! Thank you for your review! G

MackensieJackson - Thanks for waiting! I'm really glad you like it!

* * *

Sam looked expectantly at Jack. It had been nearly three minutes now since he said he thought they needed to talk, and he hadn't said a word since. Her initial fear was gradually being replaced by curiosity, and ever-so-slight annoyance. If he wanted to talk, and she could probably hazard a guess about what even though she had asked that no-one tell him, then he would damn well talk.

"Sir…Jack? I thought you wanted to talk?" Damn it, she couldn't make her way past this problem of calling him Jack.

"I know, Sam. It's just… difficult to figure out exactly what I'm gonna say, that's all." How did he tell this woman, the woman he loved, that he knew all her secrets? How could he sit here calmly and try to figure out a way to keep her in his life? He didn't know where to begin. Luckily, Sam did.

"Look, Jack, I'm just going to come right out and say it. I have a pretty good feeling that one meddling archaeologist doesn't know when to shut up, am I right? Yes, the twins are yours. Yes, the baby is yours. No, Pete doesn't know, although I think he suspects. And yes, I left him. Anything else?"

The calm exterior that she held was a total façade. Inside, Sam's stomach was doing back flips, front flips, and probably held every possible species of butterfly. But she knew that if she showed any emotion here, she'd probably break down into uncontrollable tears. She just prayed that Daniel hadn't told Jack why she left Pete. She really didn't want Jack to think of her as the woman she had been for the past three years. She wanted him to remember the Sam she had been, not know the woman who had let this man make her into nothing. Because, if Jack saw her that way, then maybe she could see herself that way as well.

"Sam, I don't know what to say to you. I just… Why didn't you tell me? No, I know that. How could you think I wouldn't want to know? What the hell made you decide that I would feel burdened by you! I mean, would you have let these kids grow up without EVER telling me?" By now, Jack was nearly yelling and the girls were stirring. Sam hurriedly led him out of the room, calling Janet in to keep an eye on the girls as they slept.

"Look, Jack, you're angry and you have every right to be. But did it ever occur to you that I had good intentions? I would have told you one day. I know it's not an excuse, but I would never have let them grow up without knowing their daddy, I just…" At this point, Sam broke. Her carefully placed exterior was almost non-existent, and she couldn't take it any more. The yelling combined with her emotions and her pregnancy hormones caused her to break down into floods of tears. "I just…sob… didn't think I …hic… could handle it …sob… ifyouturnedawayfrommeeeee…" The last words came out so fast that Jack nearly didn't understand them, but as they sank in, his anger cleared at once. "Oh, Sam, no! I would never turn away from you. God, I care about you so much, how could you ever think that?" Deciding it was wise to shut up, as he was dangerously close to either going down on one knee and declaring his undying love for her or grabbing her and kissing her senseless until all her tears were long forgotten, neither of which he thought were appropriate at the moment, he settled for pulling her close in a hug and rocking her slowly until she calmed down.

"Sam, you know I care about you too much to ever hurt you like that. I'm just upset that you thought I wouldn't do everything I could for you and our babies…"Jack tailed off. Sam looked up at him? "Jack?"

"Wow. Our babies. Wow. I mean, I knew before, but it's now really sinking in that we have kids. Wow. Just… wow."

Sam laughed. "Yes Jack, we have two beautiful girls and a boy on the way. You've met the girls, would you like to meet your son?" Without waiting for a reply, Sam took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "He's not old enough yet to kick, but still…" Jack sat there with his mouth open. Sam giggled to herself, and smiled at him "So. What ever are we going to call him? I figured, I got the girls, so you can name him. On one condition."

"Yeah?" Jack said, absentmindedly, still concentrating on her stomach and marveling at the miracle inside that was his second son. He'd never thought, after Charlie…

"No names from the Simpsons." Sam deadpanned.

"Yeah, sure, you betcha!" Jack flashed Sam his patented cheeky grin, the one that made him look innocent and devilish all at the same time. Sam felt her stomach flip. 'Oh, Lord, what have I gotten myself into?'

Meanwhile, in a jail cell somewhere…

"Det. Pete Shanahan? Seems someone finally posted your bail…" Pete stood up, and walked slowly out of the cell, looking into the face of the person who was outside it.

"Well it's about damn time. Now that bitch and those little brats of hers will finally get what's coming to her."

"Well, Mr. Shanahan, you can have Samantha Carter. But the children, and the child inside her, I'm afraid, belong to us…"


	8. In which Sam has a nightmare, and there ...

A/N: Thank you so much to the people who reviewed, and again I'm sorry this took so long to update - coursework. shudders. Sorry!

Summary: You should know by now.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

WARNING! The chapter after this one will feature both some highly unpleasant encounters (abuse etc) between some characters and also scenes of a sexual nature (both good and bad). Please be aware that the rating on this fic is for a reason. You may also wish to have a box of tissues handy.

That said, this chapter is fluff again. Sorry! (Not really...)

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One week later…

Sam walked up to the house in front of her with a strange sense of foreboding. It seemed so large, looming above her like some scary mansion out of a horror film. What was she getting herself into?

"Uncie Jack! Uncie Jack!" The twins called out to the man who was walking down the path towards them. Suddenly, Sam's reservations disappeared. She was being stupid. Moving in with Jack wasn't such a bad idea – she trusted him, he was one of her closest friends and the father of her children. It made sense – Janet's place was okay for a while but it couldn't hold two toddlers and a pregnant woman as well as Janet and Daniel, who was staying there much more often nowadays. And even if Jack did suddenly change in his feelings about her – unlikely as he had practically begged her to live with him – she knew that he loved his daughters almost more than she did. If that was possible.

"Sam. Glad you're here. I just ordered pizza, and even Teal'c couldn't eat the amount I ordered on his own! You take the girls inside, and I'll bring your bags in. I've set up the guest room for you and a couple of cots for the twins. I know it's not much but I need to do some serious rearranging here before I can start on the nursery…" 'And hopefully, that rearranging will end up with this 'just friends' idea out the window,' Jack thought. He loved his blonde ex-2IC more than he would ever admit to anyone, except eventually her, but he hadn't wanted to press matters between them considering what she had been through until recently. Not that he had let her know that he knew… So when she had mentioned that she was going to try and get out of Janet's hair, he had jumped at the chance to have her move in with him – his place was big enough, and then maybe, eventually, he'd get his Sam back for good.

Snapping from his musing, Jack carried Sam's bags into his house. From having practically nothing after leaving Pete, she had sure gained a lot of stuff in the past week or two, Jack thought. Funnily enough, the man who would once have quailed at the thought of a stray toothbrush left in his bathroom relished the idea of Sam's knick-knacks strewn across his house. 'Shows what being in love will do to ya.'

"Uncie Jack? Wanna pway?" Hearing Gracie call him 'Uncie' brought a pang to Sam's heart as she watched Jack kneel down and play pony rides with the kids. One day it'll be 'Daddy', she vowed. And they'll never call that bastard 'dad' again… Shaking her head to banish the unpleasant memories, Sam joined in the game, picking up Jenny and giving her a pony ride as Grace rode around on Jack's back.

"Fastwer mommy, fastwer! Giddy-up!"

"Hey, Sam? I have an idea. How bout this weekend we take the girls for a real pony ride? I know a guy who owns a couple of Shetland ponies, tiny things that'd be perfect. And then maybe we could all go out for dinner afterwards?" 'Please say yes, please say yes,' Jack internally pleaded, although he was aware that dinner with three-year olds tagging along wasn't exactly a romantic evening.

"Sure, Jack. That sounds great. Saturday? And then maybe Sunday we could take the girls out shopping?"

"Yeah, sure you betcha!"

Later that evening, Sam lay curled in her bed listening to the soft sleepy noises coming from the two cots at the foot of her bed. She was trying desperately to stay awake. When she fell asleep, he came back. Every night in her dreams, he found her and pulled her away from this life, the happiness she had finally achieved. And each time, Jack was unable to help. She didn't know which dreams were worse. The ones where Jack was hurt, killed even, trying to protect her. Or the ones where he just stood there, and let it all happen, a blank look on his face as she desperately reached out to him, pleading and begging him to save her from Pete, save her from the pain of the last three years…

"Jack! No! Please…" Hearing the sounds coming from the room next door over the small baby monitor he had installed, Jack bolted out of bed and ran into the next room. Sam was writhing around on the bed, tangled in the blankets as she played out the worst moments of her life over and over again in her dreams. He rushed to her side, mumbling soothing words – "Its okay, baby, I'm here, its okay, don't cry, don't hurt, its okay," and pulling her close as he tried to somehow take away her pain. Gradually, Sam's cries subsided, and she clung to him like a life-line, desperately moving as close to him as possible as if she could almost bury herself inside him and never leave. As Jack stroked her back lightly, making soothing sounds, Jack was aware of two angelic faces peering at him from the cots at the foot of the bed.

"Uncie Jack?" A tremulous voice asked, "Is mommy dying?"

"No" Sweetie, mommy's not dying. She's fine, baby, just had a nightmare, that's all. And she needed Uncie Jack to come and scare it away. Mommy's fine."

After a slight pause, the other face piped up.

"Uncie Jack?"

"Yes honey?"

"Can we come stay with you and mommy? I get nightmares too. Bout daddy. You scarwe them away like you did mommy's?"

"Aw, come on then," Jack replied, his heart aching as he thought of his little babies scared of the man that had been their 'daddy' for three years. Bastard. His babies… he'd never let that scum near his loved ones again. As the twins climbed into the bed and snuggled up to Jack and Sam, sleep gradually overtook them all.

The next morning, Sam woke up feeling refreshed for the first time in a long time. The nightmares hadn't been anywhere near as bad last night. Stretching, one hand came across a small thatch of blonde hair, which wasn't unexpected. The girls often crawled in bed with her at night, at least now that Pete wasn't there. What shocked her was the hard wall her other hand encountered. Opening her eyes, she found herself snuggled up to a sleeping Jack O'Neill. Or, at least, a previously sleeping Jack O'Neill. The eye that had snapped open as soon as she hit him in the chest was glaring at her, annoyed that his sleep had been interrupted.

"Sam? Wanna tell me why, at," he checked the clock beside the bed, "8.30 on a Friday morning, a Friday morning in which neither of us has work to go to, you are wide-awake. And, what's worse, apparently hitting me to ensure that I, too, am wide awake?" He asked, with a slight hint of irritation, and – was that a pinch of amusement? – In his voice.

"Jack. I… uh…um…"

Realising that Sam was probably wondering what he was doing there, Jack explained, in a way only he knew how.

"Nightmare. Crying. Came in. You stopped. Stayed."

"Oh." A little embarrassed and more than a little relieved, Sam tried to explain, only to be cut off by Jack.

"Sam. It's okay. People get nightmares." He may have known about Pete, but she didn't know that, and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable or feel that she had to tell him. Plus, he had hardly been able to handle hearing it from Daniel. Hearing it from her, he wasn't ready for.

"Mommy? Are you okay now? Did uncie Jack scarwe away the bad dweam?" Gracie's sleepy voice piped up, breaking the awkward moment between Sam and Jack.

"Aw, honey, yes. Mommy's fine now." Sam replied.

"Yeah. Brave uncie Jack scared away the nasty nightmare" Jack added, puffing out his chest in pride. Sam giggled. Jack, looked down at the girls, and up at Sam.

"Girls, wanna know what uncie Jack is thinking?" He asked in a teasing voice. Sam suddenly grew wary at the glint in his eye.

"What?" Came the twin chorus of replies.

"TICKLE MOMMY!" Jack yelled, as he pounced on Sam, the girls right behind him. Helpless at the three-person onslaught, Sam shrieked and wriggled as they attacked her. As the merciless three finally ceased their attack, Sam pulled her babies towards her. "Revenge is hell, Jack," she taunted, and began her counter-attack, the twins helping her.

"Traitors!" He yelled at the girls, as they switched sides to help their mom. "And you know what we do with traitors, don't you Sam?" In unison, the adults ganged up on the children, and gradually it became an all-for-one, with Jack finally admitting defeat in the face of the three girls.

"Well, all that tickling has left me pretty darn hungry. Who's for breakfast?"

"Me!" Came the chorus of answers from the three girls, all collapsed in a heap on the bed, as the broke out in fits of giggles.

'They all giggle. I'm living with THREE giggling girls. God, will my life ever be the same again?' Jack laughed ruefully to himself as he walked down the stairs; ready to make breakfast for the three (soon to be four) most important people in his life.

Across the road, in a plain grey b.m.w. with tinted windows, a man looked into the house with a pair of binoculars. "Target confirmed. Subject is indeed living at this address. Awaiting further instructions. Over." A crackle came from the radio device he held in his hand. "Take preliminary photographs and then retreat. Ensure that subject does not, repeat, does NOT make your position. We will regroup and plan the next move. Over." The man in the car drew out a camera that had a large, telescopic lens attached and aimed it at the large window at the front of the house. He took several photographs, and then drove away…


	9. In which Sam and Jack go on a date

Okay, not getting to all the Pete stuff in this chapter. Next one, I promise. But this became more important… Just a little developing of Sam and Jack's relationship.

**Unedited version available on my website! ( www . freewebs . com/allinshadesofgrey/index . htm, just remove the spaces)**

Also, Sam's outfit is inspired by a photo of Amanda Tapping I found on the net. Sorry, I can't remember the site… :S

I'm sorry this update took so long, but to make up for it the next update will be by the end of the week. After that, I have some really major exams, so I wont be updating anything until July.

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Sam's stomach fluttered in anticipation. Daniel was off on a dig in Egypt, and so Janet had jumped at the chance to look after the twins, knowing that Sam drastically needed a night out. Jack had offered to take her out for dinner, and although neither of them had said anything, they both knew that this was more than just two friends sharing a casual night out. So, Sam had dressed to impress. A pale salmon pink skirt, topped with a white strappy, corseted camisole, and with her (now long) hair down, gave her an air of innocent sexuality – she looked sexual, but the colouring and style gave an outfit that would otherwise seem risqué an edge of innocence that she hoped belied her past experience. She was anything but innocent… Shuddering at the unwanted thoughts, she drew her attention to the knocking at the door. Jack had insisted on getting ready and then leaving, so that he could 'come and pick her up like a gentleman should'. She had laughed, but secretly she was touched by the gesture. It had been a long time since anyone had done anything that thoughtful for her. Taking the stairs two at a time before pausing, slipping on her heels and composing herself, she slowly opened the door, giving herself plenty of time to covertly check out the man in front of her. He looked _good_. He had shaven, and his hair was mussed, but in a sexy, I-know-my-hair-is-messy-and-I-like-it kinda way. He was wearing dark jeans with a white t-shirt, and a smart suit jacket over the top, giving him an air of casualness while still being appropriate for the restaurant they were going to. He looked… hot.

She looked _hot._ Positively drool-worthy. He knew he probably had a grin the size of the whole of Colorado on his face, but he didn't care. God, that outfit… He was glad his jacket reached down to his thighs, that's for sure! He didn't know how he would be able to sit for a whole evening when all he wanted to do right now was pick her up and run back to his bedroom and never leave. And to top it all off, the corseted top had been loosened slightly, and he could see the slight bump over her belly. His child was in there… The sight of her was doing dangerous things to his libido. They had better leave soon, or he didn't know what he'd do…

"Sam. You look amazing. God, woman, if I'd have known I would have made more effort!"

"Jack, you look great too. I wouldn't want you to change a thing. Let me just grab my shawl, and we'll vamoose. I can't wait to try that new Italian place…"

The walk to the restaurant had been short, neither party wanting to be too far away from home in case Janet called for help. Plus, while Sam couldn't drink, Jack wanted to try the wine. After making some meaningless small talk on the way, they found they were gradually opening up to each other over the meal. Talking about things they had previously never been able to because of one regulation or another, like Laira, Martouf, and even the zat'arc testing (Jack still called it 'zanax'), they found themselves laughing, crying, and smiling over the memories of their time on the base. Jack was a little bit tipsy, meaning his reserve had loosened somewhat. Sam found herself wondering exactly how loose his control had become. The past few weeks, being back, living with Jack, had been wonderful. But she noticed that apart from with the nightmares, Jack seemed reserved around her, treating her almost like china. She knew it was out of respect, but she wanted more. And, she thought evilly, she was damn well going to get it tonight.

Asking Jack to dance, she slid out of her chair and sidled over to him. Pulling him out of his seat and onto the dance floor, she internally cheered as the music became slow and sultry, fitting her plan perfectly. Swaying in front of him, she pulled him close to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She moved languorously against him, swaying in time to the music, and then turned slowly so that her ass rested on his crotch, and his hands on her stomach. A smile grew on her face at the thought of their position – she felt a warmth inside her at the thought of his hands on her pregnant stomach, and a flush that was purely sexual at the pressure against her rear. Grinding softly against him, she shuddered as he leant forward and, finally taking the initiative, captured her earlobe gently in his teeth. Nibbling slightly, he whispered into her ear, making her tremble.

"Do you know what you've been doing to me all night in that dress, Sam? What you're doing to me now? Can you feel it?" With the whisper, he pulled her more firmly onto him, and she gasped as she felt how hard he was through his jeans. The pressure made her shiver with pleasure, and she decided to play along with him.

"Oh, I can _feel_ it Jack. I've been feeling the same way all night. With your hair all mussed, and those jeans that fit so well around your ass… God, I've wanted to jump you since you opened the door. In fact, I wanted to jump you pretty much since I saw you back at Janet's all those weeks ago. But you've been treating me like china. Well, Jack, guess what?" Sam turned around, facing Jack, and he could see the passion flaring in her blue eyes. "I'm not made of glass Jack. And tonight, I'm going to prove that to you." Sam grabbed Jack, and pulled him in towards her for a passionate, soul-searing kiss. Feeling him rise even more, if that were possible, she pulled away, and with a wicked grin on her face, she walked back to the table, leaving him standing there in shock. As he gradually began to return to his senses, she came back over.

"Jack? We should make our way home now. I've asked for the check." Noticing Sam was carrying something in a take-away bag, he looked at her with one eyebrow raised questioningly. "Well, we didn't get to dessert. So I ordered some chocolate mousse." Noticing the wicked look in Sam's eyes, Jack shuddered as her previous words played through his head. God help him, whatever she had planned for tonight would probably kill him. But what a way to go!

They stumbled onto the porch, laughing. The previous sexual tension hadn't evaporated, but it was tempered with an easy camaraderie that made the heat easier to bear. As he fumbled with his keys in the lock, she slowly began to run her fingers along her neck, tickling gently in just the right spot. Hearing a hiss of indrawn breath, she smiled as he finally managed to open the door. Walking in behind him, she gasped as she was suddenly pulled into his embrace. Shutting the door behind her and leaning her against it, he began to kiss slowly along the column of her neck, silently thanking the gods she'd chosen to wear a low-cut, spaghetti strap top – more skin for him to play with. Slowly, languorously making his way along her neck and shoulders, he felt her hands come up and grab his arms. Smiling at the breathy little moans she was making, he nuzzled one strap off her shoulder, and began to kiss lower. Moving towards the neckline of her top, he kissed along the rounded swell of her breasts that peeked above it. Feeling her hands come up to tangle in his hair, he stopped his ministrations to look her squarely in the eyes, smiling slightly as she bemoaned the loss of contact.

"Sam? Do you want this, I mean really? Now? Because I've needed this for so long, and I don't think I'll be able to stop once we get started. I don't want to hurt you." The words 'like Pete' hung unspoken in the air, and tears shone in Sam's eyes at his concern.

"I want this Jack, more than anything. Please, don't stop. I trust you, you can't hurt me." Her smile then turned devilish. "Besides, what do you think the chocolate mousse was for?"

"I swear, woman, you're going to be the death of me!" Groaning, Jack swung Sam up into his arms. Giggling, she grabbed the bag with the chocolate mousse in, and he took them up the stairs as fast as he could with an aching hard-on and a pregnant woman in his arms.


End file.
